Land of Stars & Cats

ero-assphyxiation:

mexican-lassiter:

R-R-R-R-ROLL CALL!

I’m Amber!

Brad! 

Tammy!

Fender!

Brenda!

Sketch!

Shelly!

IQ!

Lou Ann!

And I’m 

JAVERT

omg

(via phantomhivesass)

rnikedirnt:

rnikedirnt:

my health teacher has a sign in her room that says ‘if you cant handle the word vagina, then you shouldnt have your penis in one’

i wonder if my health teacher knows that shes tumblr famous 

(via shsldavestrider)

So my professor was asking questions.

• Professor: Who plans on getting married within the next 5-10 years?
• Like 3 people: *raises hand*
• Professor: Who plans on never getting married?
• Me: *raises hand*
• Professor: *points me out* why?
• Me: It's illegal.
• Professor: touche.

imagine-dragonlords:

thewayweride:

If you’re lesbian and you fall for a guy
FINE
If you’re gay and you fall for a woman
FINE
If you’re bisexual and you have a preference for girls
FINE
If you’re bisexual and you have a preference for guys
FINE
If you’re pansexual and have a preference
FINE
What’s not fine is telling someone they can’t love another person because it doesn’t fit into the confinements of a label. 

T H I S

If you’re asexual and get attracted to someone somehow. 

FINE. 

(Source: 50shadesofacceptance, via eg8ert)

jinn0uchi:

dendropsyche:

OKAY so i just saw the most ridiculous thing at the store today

so we come across this thing

and we discover you can turn it inside out and

ITS HELLO KITTY I’M

HSE’S EVEN GOT HER OWN LITTLE CHICKEN DRUMSTICK IM SO DONE

why the fuck

(via cockmelody)

ghostchomby:

i frigging. LOVE my hair being touched sooo SO much and it never happens but oh ym god if you massage my  head and play with my hair i will literally start purring like a cat

(via idontdokawaii)

googlehomie:

ahh school… *inhales deeply* the sweet smell of a flawed education system and high stress levels

(Source: slydigger, via cockmelody)

imahighfunctioningfangirl:

screamsinsilence527:

avengerlicious:

So I’m re-reading Philosopher’s Stone and I finally notice something. The night Harry first finds the Mirror of Erised is Christmas night. Rowling wrote it so Harry gets to spend Christmas with his family.

My heart just broke

The sound I maDE WAS NOT HUMAN

(via cockmelody)

tobuildaholmes:

the-lioness-rampant:

satanmoriarty:

eiyoko:

What if our actual lives involve saving the world with our friends and doing really epic stuff

but in this dimension we’re in someone’s high school AU fanfiction or something

well what a shitty fanfiction this is

it doesn’t even have smut

it’s just angst and tragedy

(via idontdokawaii)

fasterfood:

“jesus take the wheel!” i yell. jesus still refuses to accept my christmas gift. “i have no use for this wheel, my child” he says. 

(via idontdokawaii)

breadmaakesyoufat:

dontyoulovemebaby:

breadmaakesyoufat:

GUYS ITS 2:AM AND I FORGOT WHAT OATMEAL MEANT AND I THOUGHT IT WAS AN EMOTION AND I SAID OUTLOUD “IM FEELING VERY OATMEAL” BUT IT DIDN’T MAKE SENSE, SO I LOOKED UP OATMEAL, BUT I SPENT 20 MINUETS CONTEMPLATING IF IT ACTUALLY WAS AN EMOTION AND IF GOOGLE WAS LYING

this text post is so oatmeal

i hate you

(via cockmelody)

gnarly:

my computer screen is brighter than my future 

(via cockmelody)

monetizeyourcat:

rudermensch:

Uhh 11 police cars just drove by and I found out we have a tornado warning. What?

let’s see those cops try and arrest a tornado!! haha fuck pigs

(via idontdokawaii)